Easter Realizations

Well, here it is Easter, and time for the beginnings of new things, new life, new ways of looking at the world. What have I realized today?

I've been a member of a conservative Bible-based forum for maybe two years now. Now....I am not conservative, at least not in the matter of politics. I would say that in my own personal life, I'm pretty conservative. I would also say that I have no interest nor argument with what goes on in another person's bedroom unless it involves a child, an animal, or a vulnerable adult, for an example.

I recently was pretty darn cranky to one of the posters on the board. Just like on the far left, on the far right, there's a group of folks that are anti-vaccine, anti-science, anti-medicine, anti-public education, anti-work-for-wages (well, on the right, that's for women specifically.) I admit these folks drive me right up the wall. There's one woman on the board that I feel lately has been making snide little backwards comments about the "not-wacko" (IMO) crowd, and I recently posted a mean little message about her after she posted a mean little message about one of the other "non-wackos" on the board.

I was in the grocery store last frigid Friday, and saw a woman in a mini-skirt, no nylons, and knee-high f**k-me boots. Yeah, you know the kind of boots I'm talking about. I thought to myself, "Whore."

I think about people who won't work, and yet want everything handed to them. Oh, but only them. No assistance for anyone who wants/needs something different than their particular situation would allow for. After all, they're making a principled stand; these other folks are lazy and/or irresponsible. I think "Hypocrite."

I realized today that since joining this site I have learned how to be much, much nicer to my husband, but meaner to almost everyone else. More judgemental toward everyone else. This is not who I want to be.

I am not blaming the ladies on this site; I control my actions. I am responsible for my thoughts and my deeds. I do worry, however, that I have been allowing myself to be influenced to focus on outward aspects of other people, i.e., what they dress like, who they're around, how they obtain their money. I do not want this to be the sum of my interaction with the world around me.

I realize that I do need discernment. After all, I certainly am not going to dress like the mini-skirt lady (yeah, yeah, if for no other reason than I have no desire to get hypothermia on my thighs.) And maybe, if I have a daughter one day, I won't want her to dress like that. (Actually I know I won't; after all, I am my own best example of how judgemental people can be.) But I know nothing about that lady. She may be a whore. She may be someone with daring fashion sense, no fear about judgement from others, and a monogamous mother of twenty. Who exactly am I to judge? I am not qualified. There is only One who is qualified.

So what am I going to do, to make a new beginning for myself? I'm not sure yet. I think this requires more reflection and study. But I'm pretty sure that I am supposed to be kind to more than just my own family. So I guess I will have to start there.